The Trouble with Sweaters by Pixel

My Mommy is always trying to get me to wear sweaters during the cold months. It gets freezing here in the mountains - icy and snowy and windy - and I know she is just trying to keep me warm. Now, intellectually, I understand this, because I have delicate pink skin and can easily get cold. I have worn puppy tees and sweaters since I was a baby pup, but I think I am becoming allergic to them! Let me tell you about sweaters - they are like kryptonite to me!
For some reason, they make me super weak and all my super dog trick powers disappear! Did you ever see the movie, "Bolt," about the super power dog and his adventures? (By the way, he is one of THE BEST Hollywood dogs ever!!) At one crucial point in the film, he finds out that styrofoam saps all his super powers and whenever he is near it he cannot do his super dog tricks. It is just like what kryptonite does to Superman when he is near it!

Well, that is what sweaters do to me! This phenomenon has gotten gradually worse with each wearing of a sweater for me!! It is horrible, let me tell you. My Mommy video taped what happens as evidence. In the video tape shown at the beginning of this blog post, she started with having me perform a few of my simpler tricks that I do, which are 'smack' (a high five), 'snear' (I give a really good snarly face!) and 'whisper' (a bark with no sound). She has me do each one several times, which isn't a problem at all...until she puts 'The Sweater' on me.

As soon as I am wearing a sweater, something happens that I cannot explain - I suddenly cannot perform ANY of my tricks! As Mommy video taped me with the sweater on, I could barely walk and no matter how many times she said, 'smack' 'snear' or 'whisper,' I could NOT do them. All I could do was get a twitch in my lip, give sad little dog looks and stare helplessly as ALL strength was sapped from me. I could barely even chew a rice cake treat!
Finally, she took the sweater off again and I gained all my super powers back, making me feel much better. Let me tell you, that was a close call! I guess I was just born to be FREE.