Showing posts with label The Walking Dead. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Walking Dead. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Pixel's Professional Survivalist Series: Function Meets Fashion - Being Prepared is Always in Style

Pixel Blue Eyes here, taking another break from my hard core survivalist training to bring you new information that will help you become as good a survivalist as I am. I'm currently reporting from my hidden survivalist bunker. I can't tell you exactly where it is, as that is part of my survival, but I CAN tell you that I am still on the East Coast...oh no, I've said too much already. Anyways...

I take my training and what being a "survivalist" means very seriously. As a professional survivalist, I am constantly mastering new ways to better survive in case a tragic cat-astrophy, Army-gettin' or a dreaded Walking Fred attack occurs. Even if something as simple as a Tiger-Werewolf-Monkey escapes from wherever Tiger-Werewolf-Monkeys come from and invades my yard or home, I must be in tip top form to thwart those attacks.
I've mastered my evasive maneuvers, become quite skilled at being a ninja, am adept at "blending in" with the Walking Freds (always keep Strawberry Jam handy), and even figured out how to trade peacefully with other survivalists. I can use tools, I have LOTS of camouflage items, I know how to seek out edible (and not so edible) plants, and I know how to store (as well as wear) pumpkin and strawberry jam like no one else.
But through all of this, there is one very important aspect of being a survivalist that must not be missed. That is the concept of looking good while you survive! Yes, it's often put by the wayside, but I am here to tell you today that function and fashion go hand in hand. Having to survive a "Walking Fred" attack can be detrimental to your self esteem as you deal with everything involved in your survival. But, if you look good while you evade detection, why that just makes you feel a bit better about things.
For example, my camo hat is great for blending into the surrounding trees, shrubs and ground, but it also looks very nice on my head. And my camo shirt is highly functional at hiding me in plain sight when there's snow on the ground, however the nice pink collar really brings out my natural coloring. I feel pretty while I blend in!
So, as you prepare for your own survivalist training, remember these few Pixel Survivalist Training ideas for today:
1. Function and Fashion really can go hand in hand. Buy things that are both helpful and look good.
2. Good self-esteem might help you think more clearly when deciding how to make your escape.
3. Being prepared is ALWAYS in style!
I am taking part in the Wordless Wednesday blog hop hosted by my friends at BlogPaws! Check out some of the other pet bloggers below for some more fun blog posts.

Friday, March 21, 2014

Walking Fred Friday - Pixel's Top 5 Uses of Strawberry Jam

With all I've learned about the Walking Freds (my reference to the zombies in "The Walking Dead" TV show) and their intense propensity to like Strawberry Jam, I have taught Mommy to always buy extra when she goes to the store. Not only will it help you blend in, in case of a Walking Fred Cat-astrophy, it also can keep you alive in case your blood sugar gets low while trying to thwart their attacks.
Pixel talks about the importance of strawberry jam against Walking Fred attacks

Here are  five good uses for Strawberry Jam when it comes to being a survivalist and dealing with Walking Freds:
1. As a survivalist who must live off the land if a Walking Fred attack happens, I've mastered the art of eating semi-edible bare roots and berries I find in the wilderness. Use strawberry jam to dip the bare root items in that I must consume to survive. The roots tend to be bitter, so the jam makes them more tolerable for eating.
2. Put gobs of it on your face and body if a Walking Fred is nearby...they might just think you're "one of them" and leave you alone.
3. Strawberry jam is a great bartering item when you come across other survivalists. They're probably tired of eating bare roots too, so you might be able to trade it for something cool that they have.
4. I hear that bears like honey. Honey is sticky and sweet...strawberry jam is sticky and sweet. If you run into an angry bear, offer him your strawberry jam. He'll leave happy!
5. If you have a big enough jar of strawberry jam in the wilderness and a Walking Fred comes at you, and you didn't have time to spread it on your body, chuck the entire jar at him, aiming for his eyes. The impact itself might render him blind and you can then make your escape!
So, go out, buy your own Strawberry Jam....it could save your life!
Pixel stocks up and says that strawberry jam might just save your life one day

I'd LOVE to hear how you might use Strawberry Jam to survive either a 'Walking Fred' attack or just to survive in the wilderness alone. Please leave me a comment below with your survivalist tip and I'll see if I can use it in my next Walking Fred series post!

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Pixel Blue Eyes, Professional Wilderness Survivalist - Wordless Wednesday

Pixel Blue Eyes: Professional Wilderness Survivalist. The "Walking Freds" won't know what bit 'em! Poster shows Pixel wearing a camouflage hat
I'm taking a moment from my intense training in the back woods wilderness in the Appalachian mountains of Virginia to say hi and let you all know things are going well so far. I'm thinking of giving classes in how to be a successful wilderness survivalist in case of Army-gettin' or some cat-astrophic event like invasion of those walking Freds I've been talking about. As promised in my first blog post in the "Walking Fred" series, where I detailed how I found out about the potential "Walking Freds" attack and shared my plans to hone my skills as a survivalist, I packed only the barest of essentials and started my training.
Okay, gotta run friends, but I'm sending my notes back to Mommy via carrier pigeon...actually it's a CARRION pigeon, which is much bigger than the pigeons I've seen sitting on the fake owl statue at my local gas station, and four times as ornery, but we bartered a deal: he will deliver all my notes to Mommy if I include him in my next book. Hey, I could write a book one day, couldn't I?
Happy (mostly) Wordless Wednesday!!